


The Pains of a Page

by Chu



Series: Of Princes and Pages. [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Regency, Falling In Love, Friendship/Love, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-22
Updated: 2012-08-22
Packaged: 2017-11-12 15:26:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/492728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chu/pseuds/Chu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No one can know the pains of a Page when his Prince goes missing and there is nothing at all he can do about it but sit back and wait. Being powerless is often the greatest curse. [ Follow on to In another world. ]</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Pains of a Page

**Author's Note:**

  * For [My lovely little Handybug](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=My+lovely+little+Handybug), [annamage](https://archiveofourown.org/users/annamage/gifts).



With a weighty sigh of genuine hopelessness Jake shifted himself on his broad, heavily clothed bed. He’d been left behind. There had been no choice; he’d been unwell, hurt still and unable to move a great deal, let alone travel. His leg had been turned badly by his fall. It was lucky, he had had been told that it had not been broken, merely terribly bruised and strained at the knee and ankle. His back had not been without injury either, twisted slightly too far as he tumbled from the back of his horse. If they were his only misfortunes, Jake felt he may well have been spared the situation he was currently languishing in, however he had not been so lucky. 

On top of that pain and damage caused to his young frame, the cold ride home had seen him inflicted with a chill which had gotten to his lungs. Over the following days, despite the careful ministrations of a couple of the palace servants this chill had rendered him utterly helpless, unable to breathe and barely himself for longer than he had cared to admit once he had recovered. His leg had healed but for a while it was too weak to take his weight at more than a slow limp, it was frustrating. 

Things may not have been so bad had his conditions not been hushed up. His rooms were fine enough in their own way, but they were a touch draughty, with only light drapes and large windows. His chill had gotten worse as he protested that his condition was not as bad as it might well be perceived to be. The denial only served to worsen his state. 

Eventually, unable to breath and still unable to stand things had been taken out of his hands. The weather had stayed cold but his friend, his dear friend; his Prince had caused him to be brought up closer to his own rooms. There he had been assured of warmth and comfort and the chance to heal. That was where he still remained right at this moment despite the absence of the man who had brought him there. 

Ensconced in rich brocade bedding and settled back against soft pillows he had been able to recover. Heavy curtains had kept any drafts from working their icy tendrils in through the windows to chill the young man who rested and recuperated within. For some while, struggling with a fever brought on by injury and chill he had been a little insensible to life around him. Caught up in fever dreams and somewhat lost to the real world. He pushed at friends and tore at the bedding, fighting demons he couldn’t explain and struggling to get himself free of the burning fever which curled around him. 

As he stretched himself out against the heavy bedding once again, a smattering of memories fluttered through his memories. The feeling of a cool hand on his forehead, strong fingers brushing against his heated skin, a voice tinged with concern speaking words he couldn’t really understand and a sense of loss when the pressure on the bed beside him was no longer there. At the time it had meant very little, but he when he looked back to it he knew his Prince had settled beside him. He knew it had been his hand that had settled to cool his heated brow, and his soft words of concern which had had so little effect at the time due to his wildly raging delirium. What he wouldn’t have given to have had the chance to see him right then. To behold his proud, handsome face, his regal features would have been a blessing. The high, fine curve of his cheekbones and his perfect smooth skin, he could see the elegant form of the Prince so clearly in his mind. It was almost painful, the clarity with which he could picture him. The recollections were so close to reality yet still so very, very far flung from it. 

It had been nearly a full month before Jake was really believed to be well enough to bother or to be moved, but it was a further week before he was to find anything out. The news he was presented with proved to be sensibly delayed however, as despite his improve health it still struck him down again for a further week from the sheer shock of it. He had been very close to recovered, but already the strain of wondering why he had neither seen nor heard from his friend since he’d regained his senses, a full week at least, maybe two had been wearing at him, however no one could understand the severe reaction the green eyed young man presented. They could only presume that sheer loyalty to the cause and the kingdom had robbed him of his strength when he had discovered he was not to be involved. 

There had been some unrest in the kingdom over the years, what manner of kingdom could be without such a thing however? But some three weeks ago, a week after his accident things had taken a sharp and severe turn for the worst, which had thrown the south of the kingdom into turmoil. A number of higher ranking citizens were busying themselves with the task of raising an army against the King and the throne and seeking to rally the support of the peasantry. Their reasons were unfounded, rooted only in greed and the lust for power, but promises of wealth and better living could win the hearts of poor souls everywhere and the King risked losing everything if he couldn’t put things downs and rapidly. So he had had to act. There had been no time for a delay and it was apparently that even Jakes Prince had not seen fit to even leave word of his own intentions. 

It struck at Jake fairly hard to know that he had not been thought of, but he well knew the fact that he could never really believe himself to be among the Prince’s top concerns. He had a kingdom to defend, one which fate allowing he would inherit from his father one day.... so how could Jake ever expect to exceed that in his friends focus? The simple answer was that he simply could not. The heavy, bitter feeling was one that he had come to know very well and had had to accept despite the fact that giving up hope of any sort was a bitter blow, and made his heart ache. Loving someone out of your reach was... well. Had he not thought the Prince so worth his heart he might have wished for anything but this... however... despite the knowledge that he would never have what he so greatly longed for he could never think kindly of offering his heart to anyone else. His secret affection for Dirk was worth so much more than anything returned ever could be. He knew he was metaphorically shooting himself in the foot with a poisoned arrow... but really what could he do? When your heart was given to someone you really longed for with all your being it was almost impossible to wish to feel for someone else.

Through the week that followed Jake was left to himself. He was only really disturbed when food was brought to him, or a physician came to check on his health. The relapse had startled the servants who cared for him, but they could see that he was rallying himself once again. Despite the fact he was regaining himself once more, the news that Dirk was gone without him sat awfully with Jake. It just felt wrong that he wouldn’t be there to lend his bow to the Princes’ cause. To shoot an arrow to back him up should he need it. How could his Prince go to fight without him there to have his back? The weight of what had happened sat heavily with him as his mind ran over each and every scenario, struggling tooth and nail to maintain his usual levels of optimism. Dirk was brave, strong and good. He knew how to handle himself. He would be fine! Unless he chose to play the hero... he knew the risks of Dirk being allowed to operate as he chose. If there was one man alive who would give himself over for the sake of others then it was the Prince to whom he would award that title. 

It was to be two long weeks before any further news returned. A column of men half a mile long marched its way victorious back through the streets of the capital city and through the gates into the castle grounds, escorting the royal leaders of the cause back to their home, the lords returning with them to the jubilant arms of their ladies even as the common men returned to the tearful embraces of their womenfolk. The sounds of excitement and happiness, cheering and celebration reached the room where Jake had been confined, and the page soon pushed himself up to his feet, pulling himself from the chair at the desk where he had been settled to write, and made his way out of the room. He had spent a great deal of his time kept himself away in there recently, but this seemed cause enough to him to go out and about. 

With careful steps he made his way down to the court yard. His lack of activity, and a slight fear that doing too much would hurt his leg had left him with a residual weakening of the muscles there which still caused him to walk with a very slight limp and a goodly deal of hesitation attached to each and every step, but there was pull enough on him to go and find out how things stood... he wanted more than anything to see the Princes handsome face once more... though as he stepped outside and looked about him, that was one thing that seemed to be in short supply. Only one young blonde, the younger Prince at that was placed at his father’s side across the court yard. The king himself stood tall, regal and grim... they were the only two who seemed unaffected by the celebrations; they were the only two who were not smiling. Jake felt his stomach plummet. He did not however rank in anyway high enough to dare to demand to know what was going on. He would have to wait for the news to be brought to him.

The news when it finally reached his ears was worse than he could ever have imagined. Dirk, the eldest Prince, his Prince, his friend.... the unwilling owner of his heart had never returned. He had ridden off at the head of a small column of men designated the roll of placing and implementing a vital ambush. There had been a hiccup, things has gone wrong. Their plan had been discovered. A careful change of tactics had bought the main army the time it needed regardless, but the group had been divided. The Prince had ridden on with half, pursued, pulling the threat back from the majority of his men. However despite his confidence that he would soon return he had never arrived back at the camp. 

Jake scarcely knew how to react. Dirk was missing. He had been for two weeks. There had been no word nor sign from him to indicate that he was well... the only lift was that there was no gloating on the part of the barons that indicated they had captured or killed a member of the royal family. So Jake could only hope that somehow, by some uncanny twist of luck most perfect that Dirk had managed to find some way to secret himself away somewhere in safety after their deception had been turned into a disaster. He just couldn’t face the idea that Dirk may well have breathed his last. It was just too much. It was too much to take in... what was worse by far was when five days later, after the royals had settled in once more he was informed in a note from his family that he was to return home to them, and no longer reside in his placement in the palace. They had heard that the Prince was missing, the young man Jake had been sent to serve had lived out his use for him and they wished for their son back. 

It wasn’t a request he could deny after all, his father and his Grandmother had every right to request him rejoin them. His mother after all had been the one who wished him to depart; having pushed his father to seek assistance from his friend. She had sadly passed away some time ago and her opinions no longer held any sway. However it cut him to the core to have to pack his belongings to leave. He had never counted on having to depart the comforts he had come to know, and the proximity to Dirk and his family... however he could see how with Dirk gone then... what use would he be there? Dave hardly had need of his company, nor did anyone else. It was just more sensible at the end of the day for him to return home. 

Every day there was pure and simple torture. 

His father was absent often, and his grandmother was caught up with her plants. She didn’t have a great deal of time for him outside of getting him to fetch and carry for her. His life was relatively idle. He read and he drew a little, but there was precious little else for him to do to tear his mind away from thoughts of Dirk. He was painfully aware that whatever news was found it would take time for him to hear about it now... there was no chance of an instant discovery. He was just going to have to wait... and it ate at him. He hadn’t realised till they were apart how much it was actually going to hurt to have Dirk so far away from him. It was incredible how bleak each day could seem with his heart so far away from him. 

It was worth the pain of loving Dirk without him knowing each and every day to just be able to see him and know that he was well. Being utterly without him was torment that he had never quite imagined. Days dragged on and for five long months he was left alone without any word. He didn’t strengthen as his family hoped he would his injured leg was still weak. Little could persuade him to pull himself up and about. Little could inspire him to liveliness or fun. He missed the friends he had made over the many years he had resided with the Prince. He had spent so much of his life there that being suddenly absented from them brought a great deal of pain to him as it was the first time he had felt such a wrench. 

All in all the protracted absence did him no favours and in fact left him very ill. His sunny mood was often unseen for many days at a time. He did attempt to lift his spirits, he really did, but it was so difficult when every day was darkened by thoughts that his best friend of so many years now could be hurt, or worse laying undiscovered somewhere. He didn’t want to admit that it was a possibility... but in his heart he knew that it was. Each and every day he merely wished, longed and hoped that he would hear of him and that his news would be good. 

But with five long months already rushing past him, and the summer already at its height he was fast beginning to lose the ability to hope at all. There was only so long you could carry on hoping for something which you were steadily beginning to believe to be impossible. Consequently, when he was called by his father to attend him in the study on afternoon, late afternoon at that, he made his way there with grudging, somewhat limped footsteps. He hadn’t taken great pains to assist his recovery after all. The note however changed everything almost the moment it was in his hand. 

He recognised the seal on the back which held the thick paper closed in a roll. The strangely formed heart shape was entirely indicative of Dirk. No one else used that seal to his knowledge. He wasted no time tugging the paper open and letting his eyes run over it. In short order he had thrown himself to his feet, pushing himself out of the room and indeed out of the house with as much speed as he could, despite the shouted demands of his father to know what was going on. He had a terrible distaste for being left out of the loop, but this time the older man had very little choice but to allow his son his way. Jake had rushed outside and shouted loudly for the groom to assist him in saddling his horse. The deed was done in little to no time and soon, with some difficulty he was pulling himself up into the saddle, having picked the wrong leg to lead with. He regretted then more than ever the fact he had not tried to strengthen his leg. 

“Where are you bound, master Jake?” The older groom called after him, his voice concerned at the boys sudden hurry. 

“I am headed to the crossroads that lead down to the coast and out to the main capitol road when you branch a left from here!” He shouted back. “I’ll be no further than an hour away at worst! Don’t fret! Calm your fears and tarry not out here! I’ll be back in time! Keep my father calm like a good chap; I am certain my exit will not have pleased him!” He was aware that his sudden spin in mood would concern his parents, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. It was just... he had been waiting so, so terribly long to hear anything at all, and the news had been more, much, much more elating than he could have ever hoped!

The ride was uncomfortable, and as time had been recently it dragged. However blessedly and with many murmurs of thanks on his part it was soon over and finally, at its ultimate conclusion he was able slip from the saddle with a bright, delighted smile on his lips. 

“You are here.” He breathed, the words came out more relieved than he had meant them to sound and for a moment he was tempted to cut himself off... but his sheer happiness to the see the tall proud form of the blonde standing only a few steps away from him was just too strong to surpass. “I had thought the note a cruel fabrication my Prince. So much time has passed. I can scarce believe you are really here... I have hoped... hoped and feared in unequal measure I am afraid to confess.”

“You doubted my skills?” The lower tone of the Princes voice was accompanied by a slight raise of his brow. “I am disappointed to hear that my loyal page could come to think so poorly of my abilities. Perhaps I did not give you enough cause to have faith?”

“Nay nay and nay again. You tease me most cruelly considering all the time that has flown from us since we parted!” Jake protested, his expression at once becoming indignant. “You are cruel indeed to bandy about such words when you must know indeed now much I have suffered in your absence! No way to know! No way to be sure I would even hear! Sent from where I might sooner be at your side to a place where the good Lord above could scarce know when I might hear from you!” He was gesticulating expansively as he spoke. “But to have you come to tell me directly? Your own royal self? You do my poor county a great honour, highness.” A little grin played itself over Jakes lips then, taking over from the look of indignant displeasure. There was some pleasure as well in the fact that he could see a slight smile just lifting the corner of Dirks lips. 

“Jake I was disheartened indeed when I returned home from so long an absence to find you gone. I was almost led to believe you had gone freely...” His tone quietened for a moment and he was forced to raise a hand to silence Jake as he had immediately begun to protest. “Hold your tongue my friend; I was wrong to doubt you. I was told shortly after that you had been summoned home to prevent your proving a grain on my household. An unnecessary measure to be sure as I will only have you back with me now...” He took a few steps towards the dark haired young man. “What would I do without you after all? Where would I be without so loyal a soul by my side?” Still he stepped closer and Jake found himself tilting his head back slightly, lifting his eyes to keep them fixed fully on the Princes face. 

“Lost and poorly dressed I’m sure.” Jake stated in a slightly cheeky tone before lowering his eyes. “To be sure my Prince I am sure you would cope quite well. It is I who have been reduced to little better than nothing without your presence. I will feel no shame in admitting I missed you my friend... if it is not insolence as we are alone to call you friend.” He winced slightly. Relief was making it hard to hold his tongue. He had already spoken out more than he should have. 

The wince however seemed to be all Dirk had needed to push him to his next action, and before Jake even knew what was happening ht was frozen, holding his breath inadvertently as he found himself for the second time in his life swept up into those much longed for arms, pulled once again up against the Princes sturdy chest. He held himself tense for a mere moment before he simply gave in and allowed himself to crumple to the side. 

“For shame Jake you have taken poor care of yourself.” Dirk stated quietly. “I saw how your leg pained you as you dismounted. No harm though. No harm indeed. I will see to it that you are able to strengthen that in no time. Proper care will now be taken of you my friend.” Jake’s eyes closed over as he felt Dirk lean down then, resting his cheek against his temple. It was all so unexpected. He knew it wasn’t anywhere near what he wanted it to be... but after what he had endured the last six months... it was better than anything he could ever have hoped. 

His Prince was alive. His Prince was safe. And his Prince had come back to him. He would have been a cad and a fool indeed to complain about his lot... yet here he stood with his dear, dear Princes arms wrapped right around him. 

He could never have wished for a thing more. 

“I will thank the Lord every day that you are safe.” He murmured quietly. 

“Don’t thank the Lord.” Dirk replied wryly. “Thank the fact I know how to use a sword better than the men I encountered. Were that not the case I doubt even the Lord above could have saved my skin.”

“Dirk!” Jake protested in mock outrage and a slightly nasal voice. “That is blasphemous indeed and if you carry on with such awful lines I shall be forced to tell your father.” The mimicry of the blondes former teacher was so convincing that the pair of them wound up laughing. 

Yes. This was perfect. This was how things were meant to be.


End file.
